Ever heard that expression? It’s often the first thing that comes out of someone’s mouth that doesn’t want to see things change. Admittedly, change is hard. Old hat is comfortable; it’s “proven.” At least it seems so. But it is worth evaluating this kind of thinking. While this expression and this kind of thinking can be used to justify just about anything, the times I hear it the most lately have to do with the things we do with our children.

Parents often want to find good camps and big youth groups and dynamic programs in which to involve their children, with the expectation that these things will go a long way in building them up. And while it may be that any one of these things may contribute, it is not necessarily so. It has simply become a default mode of operation by parents within our culture. When challenged, we often recite, “I was involved in such and such and I turned out okay.” I’ve said the same words myself. If we consider the logic of that statement, we find it a bit lacking. If indeed I am okay (which is whole other question), am I conceding that it was the program I’m defending that deserves all the credit? I also remember starting a club as a kid with the neighborhood friends and determining who was president of the club according to who could chew the most Big Chief tobacco. (I won the contest but I’m not sure what that did for me… We chewed so much tobacco that we first grew dizzy and then a bit nauseous and spent the rest of the day moaning next to our new porcelain friend.) You could argue that the lesson I learned from that experience was just as valuable as the youth program I was involved in. Or what about the time I sat in a candlelit basement at the ripe old age of ten and looked at Playboy magazines that my friend had snuck from underneath his father’s bed? Maybe it was that experience that shaped the “good person” I am today? To argue that a single event form our past is to credit for turning out “okay” is a bit loosy-goosy in its logic, even if one seems “better” than others.

It seems more likely that I turned out “okay” (again, assuming I really am) despite the events of my past. How is that so? God condescends to our weaknesses. I can think of no better example than the story of Saul in 1 Samuel 28. Saul was the first king of Israel but was not faithful in following the Lord. As a result, the Lord rejected him as king. As the Philistines, Israel’s arch-rival at the time, gathered their forces for battle, Saul grew scared. His armies were outnumbered. He grew desperate for a word from the Lord but none seemed to come. As a last resort he went to a medium (someone who sought to speak with the dead). He had to disguise himself because he had rid the land of such people. God’s law forbade all divination. When the medium asked who Saul wanted her to bring up from the dead, he said Samuel (Samuel was the prophet that had anointed first Saul as king and later David as king after Saul was rejected). The medium obliges Saul and Samuel’s spirit does indeed rise and speak to Saul. How is it that God spoke to Saul through Samuel’s spirit through a medium, a practice that his law specifically forbids? It isn’t because the practice is right. This is clearly not a model of what to do when we find ourselves in a pickle like Saul, even though it “worked” for him. Instead we find that God condescends.

Is God’s condescension a license then to do what seems to “work?” We might as well say that Christ’s death gives us license to do whatever we want – sin as much as we want since his death pays for it all. But that isn’t the meaning of God’s condescension. God condescends because we are weak and would forever be lost otherwise. But his condescension isn’t a license to do evil. It is a setting free from evil altogether.

So, “I did it that way and I turned out okay” doesn’t get us very far in arguing our case for a particular method of building up our children. Instead we must look to the Scriptures to find out where they lead. Scripture points us first to parents as given the charge to impress upon their children the words of God. By extension it points to the church (i.e. the people not a set of programs). If we’re faithful in these things, certainly there is room for camps and youth programs and such. However if we’re looking for these later things to be primary, then we’ve slipped into lazy logic and have abandoned God’s means of grace.
This is a hard teaching because it goes against the grain of our culture’s approach to raising children. This shouldn’t surprise us. So does the gospel. Let us be faithful to the Lord and pray for each other as we endeavor to live as God instructs.

Thankful that the gospel is true,

Carter